Crazy solutions 1: Dishes and laundry ( third world edition)

So this is my Laundry pile.


I have no washing machine, and a bad back. So I decided to do my washing in bed.

Tip 1: Use extra towels to prevent sleeping in a very large wet spot.

Step 1: Suck up the pain and fill a 20litre bucket with warm water and laundry detergent ( unless you have a house elf)

Step 2: Find at least two other large mixing bowls and a smaller washtub to keep at hand

Step 3: Dunk a bunch of your underwear, shirts and pants ( half of you ugly-but-comfy wardrobe stuff, half wear-it-out-the-house stuff) and pillow covers and/or a sheet.

Step 4: Dunk with a stuck for 3 minutes. Allow to stand for half an hour, dunking from time to time.

Step 5: Actually scrub armpits, crotches and stains. When water is gray, wrong out some and move to another tub. Then toss out the water.

Step 6: Take a fucking nap. You're probably wasted. Have you had your meds and eaten? If not, figure out some food ( cheese on toast is a valid solution, or some nice healthy cereals or salad), take your meds and set an alarm for an hour or two from now.

Step 7: Wake up, make a cup of tea and watch Key and Peele for 20 minutes.

Step 8: Fill up that fucking tub, again. Park the smaller tub on your lap again and dunk your items in the water. That's first rinse. Add bleach to this rinse if the clothes are really honky.

Step 9: Wring it all out again, preferably with help.  If you stop being able to move your arms just move that crao off your bed and take another nap.

Step 10: Three rinses, one with bleach, one with plain warm water and one with softner does the job.

If it's raining, just hang it out anyway. It wil stop someday, right? But set an alarm to check every half day if that's happened yet.

Love

Whizper

Apocalypse now

Some days all the mild mannered pretty advice for spoonie survival is just useless. In fact, it pisses me off.

How nice for you that you have a little tray for your meds? Mine went missing a week ago under the bed and I'm too weak to lift it up and dig the damn thing out. Plan B?

This is my room right now.





At last count I showered one weekand two days ago. I brushed my hair twice in that time. My laundry has been left unwashed for a full 40 days ( a feat achieved by rotating my clothes and wearing them at least 4 times, and washing my underwear in the bathroom sink - every second day).

I eat once a day for about 70% of the month. I leave the house twice a week at best if I get the choice.

So if you feel like you are maybe a bloody mess, it's OK. You're not alone. And you can survive.

So today, apart from making you feel less alone, I'm going to teach you disaster management for Spoonies.

When surviving spoon burnout you need to focus on loadshedding and triage. Prioritise what you really need, shed the other stuff.

Secret 1: Being clean is actually not a priority during a spoon burnout.

Your priorities are:

Level 1: Eat, Meds, Sleep.
Level 2: Get food, meds and money
Level 3: Change your clothes and deoderise
Level 4: Clean your dishes before you run out.
Level 5: Take a bath before you see people who could cause crap for you if they found out you weren't coping.
Level 6: Rest and Recover from your injuries/exhaustion
Level 7: Stop going places and dong things until you are bored of being home alone. Rather sleep, play games, and once bored, go to a park but only with those who don't care if you do so looking like a hobo.
Level8: Don't miss your medical appointments.
Level9: Do crazy stuff to solve problems. If it works, it's not stupid.
Level10: Start thinking about cleaning your house.

If it's not killing you, it's not actually a disaster. It's just a mess.

:)

Whizper

Sooo...you're up shit creek and out of spoons

If you're a spoonie, you've been there.

You've forgotten the last time you washed your hair. You've started sniff testing your laundry for clothes like a teenager, and your linen hasn't been changed in weeks.

You're missing meals because you're physically too exhausted to cook, and you're so flat broke that McDonald's is as out of reach as caviar.

You need to look and smell decent for your visit to your specialist, but you ran out of clean clothes two days ago, and your feet are too screwed up to stand.

You're randomly flipping out, ready to end it, and basically fed the hell up.

But that's pretty much most days, and you're not the kind to go down without a fight.

So how do we do this thing?

Well, for me it began with letting go of trying to look OK when it really doesn't matter. If being disabled makes my friends think I'm lazy, dirty, selfish, stupid, ignorant, infantile or insane...they need to move along.

Step two was throwing out the rule book. Wash your Laundry in bed. Eat takeaways if that is the only way you'll eat today. Ignore the chaos productively. Redefine the timeline. Take a steely grip of your schedule and learn to say no when that's the right thing to do by your loved ones - even if that means letting them down.

Stop apologising for being disabled and dropping balls. Start demanding accommodations. Ignore the ill educated masses who judge, harrass, advise, admonish, shame, blame and bully you.

Listen to yourself and only yourself for at least six months to really know what your body and mind is telling you before you ask advice.

And repeatedly say to yourself : " I am a badass, but even Batman has Robin. "

Love

Whizper